Feeling gutted? Five ways to cope with England's World Cup defeat

10 hours ago 4

Three men in England shirts look sad. One is looking upwards towards the screen, another is holding his head in his hands and the third is clutching the back of his neck looking downwards.Image source, GettyImages

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Football heartache can take days or even weeks to get over, say fans

ByMaia Davies & Emma Rossiter

England are out of the World Cup after Argentina's dramatic comeback to beat them 2-1 in the semi-finals.

Harry Kane and the team took the lead early in the second half in Atlanta, but could not hang on.

As fans reel from the painful defeat, here are some tips for coping with the dashed hopes of a place in the final.

An England fan sits on the ground with holding his head with his hands. He is hiding his face with an England flag over his head.Image source, Getty Images

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Football fans often feel the pain of a loss more acutely than the delight of a win

Losing at football can cause more of a sting than in other sports, says Dr Martha Newson from the University of Greenwich.

"Few people are going to cry and get upset about whoever loses Wimbledon," explains the behavioural scientist.

"Football is different… we talk about the national team like it's us out there."

For supporter Oli Portlock, an England loss feels like a "national funeral… a big grey cloud over the nation when England's been knocked out".

The 27-year-old recalls the "absolute heartbreak" of England's defeat to Italy in the Euro 2020 final at Wembley. "It certainly ruined the next week in work for me."

Recognising the feeling of pain is an important step, says Dr David Crepaz-Keay from the Mental Health Foundation.

But don't get too worried, he says, because the emotional dip "typically fades within a couple of hours".

So if you feel like you are wallowing in misery, ride it out and tell yourself it's just part of the process.

Jude Bellingham celebrates with teammate Harry Kane after scoring his team's first goal during the FIFA World Cup 2026 Round of 16 match between Mexico and England at Estadio Azteca in Mexico City.Image source, Getty Images

"For me, it's probably trying to reflect on all the great memories I've created throughout the tournament," says Oli, who followed England from his hometown of Preston to the US.

Disappointed fans might lift their spirits by rewatching Harry Kane bring England back from the brink against DR Congo, or Jude Bellingham score twice in 98 seconds against Mexico to help clinch a spot in the quarter-finals.

Or it might be memories of staying up that extra hour after severe storms prompted a 02:00 BST kick-off, or crowding into packed pubs during a record-breaking heatwave to catch the earlier games.

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Relive every one of England's 14 World Cup goals

Oli suggests listening to music that reminds you of the successes - Wonderwall for this year or Sweet Caroline for Euro 2020 - rather than focusing on the disappointment.

England fan Jayne Howells, 54, agrees, and cautions against trying to find mistakes or ascribe blame in anger.

"A lot of these players… they're going to be gutted as well. It's not about knocking them down, but saying they actually did really well. That's how you make a stronger team."

Crepaz-Keay advises fans to "see the funny side where you can" and remember "the things that went well".

Two England fans look dejected after the match. One woman in a red England shirt  with sunglasses pinned on top of her head has her arm wrapped around another woman in a white top.Image source, Reuters

The first few hours after the loss will be the worst, Crepaz-Keay says. However, "taking your disappointment out on someone else is not the way to go".

Instead, both he and Newson say sharing your disappointment is one of the best ways to get over the hurt.

The best thing to dissipate that frustration, Crepaz-Keay says, is to "talk about it, rant about it" and get through it quickly, in the right way, with the right people.

Supporter Oli agrees, saying "talking with mates down the pub" helps you to remember you're "on the same page" with the sting.

"It does evoke disappointment," he admits, but it helps to "get it out of your system".

A boy plays football in a housing estate in London decorated with England flags.Image source, EPA/Shutterstock

If you find yourself reaching for the crisps or cookies, it is not all down to a lack of willpower.

"We do find that fans consume more calories after a loss," Newson says, probably due to an unconscious "evolutionary" desire to protect yourself after losing.

Everyone has different ways of coping, she says, but the important thing is to "trust your instincts" - and being with others, resting, and opening up tend to be the best options.

"Getting outside and being active will help," advises Crepaz-Keay, even if that means walking and singing on your way home from a match to expend some energy.

For Andy Taylor, 38, who followed England to both New York and Boston, getting back to his normal routine is what helps.

He says it is the "day-to-day bits" - like walking the dog and going for a run, as well as reflecting on the positives - that help to boost his mood.

Remember, there's always next time

England fans display the name of Harry Kane on their shirts inside a stadium. They are all wearing white wigs.Image source, Reuters

Football heartache takes "days, even weeks to get over" for Andy, but he also points out: "Football isn't life or death."

His first tournament - Euro 1996, where Germany dashed England's hopes in a tense semi-final - was "devastating", but he could always look forward to another game.

"England football will always be there," says Andy.

"Even if we don't win, I've got amazing memories to cling to. We were there and I'll never get over that."

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